Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Mawwage Sweet Mawwage

Our wedding was my favorite day of all time. I got to marry Nathan (the coolest, most fun, funniest, kindest, cutest guy around) and there was ZERO stress - that day. It was beautiful, I felt beautiful, and all of my amazing family and friends celebrated us so wonderfully. Though the honeymoon was slightly stressful (only the flights – Delta, I’m still salty), it was still so fun and relaxing! If you’re living in Kauai, aka paradise, and you’re stressed – we need to talk.

Then it happens. Back to life. Back to reality.

If you didn’t just sing that line, then we are not friends (jk!). Or you are my husband who doesn’t know any music (I asked him later if he recognized that song lyric and he said yes…bold face lie)
Back to reality where I now have a new roommate. A new MALE roommate. Now granted, I will put money down that I live with the most enjoyable laid back man ever. He is far from high maintenance, needy or loud. He is calm, kind and asks for nothing. But still, a man. Like a man who leaves his oatmeal bowl in the sink to let it “soak” for 2 days, because, of course, you can’t just rinse it out right away. Or the man who leaves the toilet seat up. I made him explain to me WHY men can’t pee with the seat down. I just don’t get it, and maybe I’m okay with not really knowing so please don’t give me a science lesson.

Our first night in our new apartment we were discussing cleaning. He asks, “Now would you like me to just put the dishes in the sink or would you like me to put them in the dishwasher?” And this is my example of living with a man. It’s just different. And poor Nathan was in for a whirlwind with his new roommate (me).

The first week back to reality felt so normal. Creepy normal. Like we had always been married normal. It was so fun (and still is). Eating terribly and staying up late watching countless hours of Netflix. Until it struck. Saturday early morning at around 3:30 I woke up breathless. I walked around the room for 5 minutes trying to compose myself. I went into the other room so I wouldn’t wake Nathan, who had work in just a few hours. I could not catch my breath. Every thought came to my head. I’m dying. I’m having a heart attack. How do I know if this is a heart attack? Is my left arm hurting? I heard your right arm could hurt during a heart attack, too. Yep, this has to be a heart attack.

Don’t Google. Don’t Bing. Don’t Yahoo. Just don’t. It will always tell you that you are dying and then your symptoms become worse. WAY worse. Like yelling in the room at your husband that we have to go to the hospital NOW type of worse.

Okay, I didn’t actually yell but I was panicked. He immediately prayed for me and we jumped in the car. We sat in the hospital parking lot for 2 hours. I didn’t want to go in and get slammed with a huge bill for something that could possibly be nothing (I’m a budget-er and this was NOT in the budget), but I wanted to be close enough to the hospital in the case I really was having a heart attack (pathetic and sad, I know). No one else plans things out like this? Liars.

Sweet Nathan never complained and was really just concerned- probably more concerned that he made a huge mistake and married a crazy woman. He stayed awake with me until I fell asleep and then he had to get ready for work. Selfless- you can leave the toilet seat up any time. Just kidding you earned 2 free passes *He used these within one day so the pass is now GONE*

The next day I felt totally normal. I chalked it up to indigestion (it was really a pulled muscle in my back) and vowed to never eat On The Border in bed at 11pm ever again. This was probably a good decision all around.

The small annoyances (and my craziness) are so small in comparison to how fun marriage really is. Are we perfect? Almost Not at all. Should I cook, clean and do laundry more? Sure! Should I stop asking for things? “Oh, since you got up from the couch could you turn on the fan, bring me a water, make me dinner and scratch my back when you’re done with all of my other requests?” Maybe Yes, stop being high maintenance. Should Nathan put the dishes away (he doesn’t have many downfalls to choose from)? Yep! But we are learning and if you don’t like it you can sue us. *But don’t actually because it’s not in the budget*

**Also, if you don’t understand the title, you need to download The Princess Bride immediately, stop whatever you’re doing and watch it – your boss will understand. For those who don’t like the movie, I can only apologize for your poor judgement**


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