Wednesday, August 16, 2017

The Ultimate Party Trick

My blogs have been lacking lately – life is tough and work is hard! Actually, it’s really enjoyable I just haven’t made this a priority. BUT I’ve decided I need to give the people what they want! *people aka my mom*. I feel like I need to give you all the reason as to why and how I am able to write my blogs. Many ask how I can recall and describe such colorful stories of my past. If you’re reading this and you know me (heck who is reading who doesn’t know me?? Contact me because we should be bffs!) you know my creepy special talent – my memory is insane. When I say insane I mean like I can remember everything. I’m basically rain man – except I hate math and I’m not a genius. Don’t test me, don’t challenge me, I will win in an argument because I REMEMBER ALL (sorry Nathan).

I’ve always wondered why I have this strange gift and what is it good for? Should I go to Vegas and start counting cards? Should I pack up and be a carny and use my talents there? Maybe it’s just to make people feel good and valued *BOOOO, SHOW ME THE MONEY!!! Jk*.

It actually may be a curse because people think I’m certifiably crazy. Exhibit A: a girl at work was talking about a surgery she had. Enter Cory: “Oh didn’t you get it last year on August 16th?” WHY DO I REMEMBER THESE THINGS? She told me I was strange and walked away.

For years, I thought everyone had this “gift”. I truly could not believe people when they would say “I don’t remember.” You don’t remember?? That just means you don’t care or you don’t want to talk to me, right? *This actually might be the case for some* Then enters my husband who seriously doesn’t remember anything. Life changing events – absolutely no recollection. At what age did you almost die when diagnosed with diabetes? “Uhhh idk…” WHAT DO YOU MEAN??? I wish I could wrap my head around the simple phrases of “I don’t remember, I’m not sure, I don’t know”. Do you actually not have a thought? Can you not mentally take yourself back to the exact place you were, what you wore, who you were with?? He truly cannot. Except he does remember the most random pointless things and our anniversary and my birthday so don’t worry he’s not in the dog house.  He did however try and argue with me that my birthday is actually May 10th. It’s the 12th and I’m not sure why someone would try and tell someone they’re wrong about their own birthday…We’re still married and I still love him though so we are good!

I don’t have many true talents. I used to be able to take my teeth out (thank God for implants) and I can remember things. How am I not famous yet? My big party trick is going around a room of people and remembering everyone’s birthday. People think it’s pretty amazing – I obviously hang out with really cool fun people if this is the amazing party trick **disclaimer- my friends are really cool fun and cute so if you’re reading this - LYLAS!** Gone are the days of keg stands (I've never done one but I'm sure it takes talent), now it’s “hey what’s my birthday!!” My favorite is when people I have never met ask me. I’m not a psychic I just remember things, once I’ve actually met you.

My close friends will randomly text or call me asking someone’s name we went to preschool with. “Oh you mean you don’t remember John Smith? We were 4 and he wore that blue shirt every day!” Seriously it baffles me that people don’t remember these important details. People ask me questions about THEMSELVES that they can’t even remember! “Hey Cory, what did I wear 2 years ago? What was my wedding song? When’s my dad’s birthday?” You wore jeans, a white top and your hair was curled, All Of Me by John Legend, and October 12th. NEXT!

I’m not going to lie; this gift brings a lot of pressure. Please don’t get mad if I don’t text you at midnight on your birthday – girl’s gotta sleep! Or if I didn’t call to remind you that your dog has a vet appointment today. I do have a life (if you count going to work, coming home and watching mad men a life then yes, I do) and things slip my mind! Now that you know about my special curse talent, don’t try and hold it against me or trick me – I’m not God. Just a girl with an amazing memory, that will remember the most embarrassing moments of your life if you do try to make me fail. Just kidding (maybe)…

Some of you may be unsubscribing (Not subscribed? Check out that cool subscription bar on your right and click here for my super cool sister's amazing blog that you MUST read *shameless plug*) as fast as you can because you’re either scared of what I will remember about you or you think I’m crazy. Both of these could most likely be true. But hey if you can’t remember what you wore to your 2nd grade birthday, your grandma’s middle name or your husband’s brother’s wife’s parent’s anniversary – I’m your girl! 

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Step Away From the Uggs

When I was younger I  my mom would buy fall clothes in August for me. I would hang them in my closet and stare at them for days, waiting/praying for the weather to cool off. After day 2 I couldn’t wait any longer. It was as if nothing else was in my closet and the only thing I could wear was that new cute leather jacket. Yep, that’s all I have so I must wear it. In case you didn’t know or you live in an igloo, it’s really hot in Oklahoma in August. Like 115 degrees hot. And if you don’t know anything about leather well it keeps the heat in. So in other words, due to my impatience I was a sweaty mess after a solid 2 minutes in the jacket.

One of my biggest pet peeves is people not enjoying the season they are in (I can be guilty of this too, so no condemnation here). Literally and figuratively. Some people long for fall in the middle of summer. They try and speed up the process by wearing their flannels and UGGs but guess what? It’s HOT pretty much until October so those people go into a heat stroke.

When Nathan and I started dating the first question everyone asked me was, “When are you getting married!” Okkk… seriously people?? I just started dating him and now you are going to freak him out with your questions!

Literally at our wedding, the next question came – “When are you having babies!?” Well obviously not right this second because we are STILL AT OUR WEDDING. *And honestly this is really no one’s business, so people stop asking everyone who is of childbearing age*

I wanted to respond to these nosy questions with, “well we actually don’t believe in marriage” or “I hate children.” Obviously neither are true, but that would’ve definitely gotten some people off my back.

Sometimes we want to rush every season of life. You say, “I’ve been dating for 2 whole weeks, can we just be married already???” “Great we are married! I need a baby NOW!!” “Now I have this baby and I REALLY want her to grow up!”

PAUSE. Exhibit A:
When my little sister Allie was born, we wanted her to talk immediately. I was only 8 and I was bored with a baby that just slept all day. So she started talking early. BIG mistake. Babies are loud and when you’re 8 you need your beauty rest. Please see prior blogs – I blame Allie for the lack of beauty growing up due to no beauty rest.

If everything isn’t aligning just right and we want to move out of the season we’re in so badly, maybe we should start enjoying it instead of hating every second.

When we rush one season, the next can seem so much longer. We start spring in January and now we want summer in March. It doesn’t work like that (okay it most definitely could in Oklahoma). Listen, I’m not saying God is purposely going to hold you back from the things you want. Galatians 6:9 tells us not to lose heart in doing good, for in DUE SEASON we shall reap! DUE SEASON. Not our FAVORITE season that we want right this instant, but in due season. So while you’re waiting why not enjoy it?

Whether you are:
Single- You have FREEDOM!! Hang out with all of your friends, Eat what you want, go to the gym when you want, go to sleep when you want – YOU DO YOU!
Dating - You get to go home and you don’t have to talk to anyone for a day or two if you really don’t want to! You dress up and go on fun dates every week! You also don’t have to share a bank account… buy those shoes while you can!  **Nathan would let me buy all the shoes if I wanted to**
Married with No Kids- Go on a fun vacation, just the two of you! You can leave the house for a movie at 8pm and not get a sitter! **I do hate leaving our puppy Howie at home though, so if you want to be a puppy sitter, you may apply** Stay up late and watch a whole Netflix series. Sleep in! More like sleep in general.
Mom/Dad- You get to dress your kids really cute and teach them fun things. You get to cuddle a sweet baby and care for and invest in someone else – I’m obviously lacking on this one since I’m not there yet...

While you are wallowing in the season you are in, others are having fun and enjoying themselves and probably getting tan from laying out because they know the difference between summer and fall! Time goes so much slower when you count the seconds. My mom always told me “dress for the season, not the weather.” Obviously, sometimes we have to bend the rules with crazy Oklahoma weather, but I still stand by it. Dress for YOUR season. Just because you wear fall clothes doesn’t mean it’s fall. It doesn’t speed the process up. You still have to go through summer to get there.  Prepare and pray for your new season, but delight in your current one.