Wednesday, August 16, 2017

The Ultimate Party Trick

My blogs have been lacking lately – life is tough and work is hard! Actually, it’s really enjoyable I just haven’t made this a priority. BUT I’ve decided I need to give the people what they want! *people aka my mom*. I feel like I need to give you all the reason as to why and how I am able to write my blogs. Many ask how I can recall and describe such colorful stories of my past. If you’re reading this and you know me (heck who is reading who doesn’t know me?? Contact me because we should be bffs!) you know my creepy special talent – my memory is insane. When I say insane I mean like I can remember everything. I’m basically rain man – except I hate math and I’m not a genius. Don’t test me, don’t challenge me, I will win in an argument because I REMEMBER ALL (sorry Nathan).

I’ve always wondered why I have this strange gift and what is it good for? Should I go to Vegas and start counting cards? Should I pack up and be a carny and use my talents there? Maybe it’s just to make people feel good and valued *BOOOO, SHOW ME THE MONEY!!! Jk*.

It actually may be a curse because people think I’m certifiably crazy. Exhibit A: a girl at work was talking about a surgery she had. Enter Cory: “Oh didn’t you get it last year on August 16th?” WHY DO I REMEMBER THESE THINGS? She told me I was strange and walked away.

For years, I thought everyone had this “gift”. I truly could not believe people when they would say “I don’t remember.” You don’t remember?? That just means you don’t care or you don’t want to talk to me, right? *This actually might be the case for some* Then enters my husband who seriously doesn’t remember anything. Life changing events – absolutely no recollection. At what age did you almost die when diagnosed with diabetes? “Uhhh idk…” WHAT DO YOU MEAN??? I wish I could wrap my head around the simple phrases of “I don’t remember, I’m not sure, I don’t know”. Do you actually not have a thought? Can you not mentally take yourself back to the exact place you were, what you wore, who you were with?? He truly cannot. Except he does remember the most random pointless things and our anniversary and my birthday so don’t worry he’s not in the dog house.  He did however try and argue with me that my birthday is actually May 10th. It’s the 12th and I’m not sure why someone would try and tell someone they’re wrong about their own birthday…We’re still married and I still love him though so we are good!

I don’t have many true talents. I used to be able to take my teeth out (thank God for implants) and I can remember things. How am I not famous yet? My big party trick is going around a room of people and remembering everyone’s birthday. People think it’s pretty amazing – I obviously hang out with really cool fun people if this is the amazing party trick **disclaimer- my friends are really cool fun and cute so if you’re reading this - LYLAS!** Gone are the days of keg stands (I've never done one but I'm sure it takes talent), now it’s “hey what’s my birthday!!” My favorite is when people I have never met ask me. I’m not a psychic I just remember things, once I’ve actually met you.

My close friends will randomly text or call me asking someone’s name we went to preschool with. “Oh you mean you don’t remember John Smith? We were 4 and he wore that blue shirt every day!” Seriously it baffles me that people don’t remember these important details. People ask me questions about THEMSELVES that they can’t even remember! “Hey Cory, what did I wear 2 years ago? What was my wedding song? When’s my dad’s birthday?” You wore jeans, a white top and your hair was curled, All Of Me by John Legend, and October 12th. NEXT!

I’m not going to lie; this gift brings a lot of pressure. Please don’t get mad if I don’t text you at midnight on your birthday – girl’s gotta sleep! Or if I didn’t call to remind you that your dog has a vet appointment today. I do have a life (if you count going to work, coming home and watching mad men a life then yes, I do) and things slip my mind! Now that you know about my special curse talent, don’t try and hold it against me or trick me – I’m not God. Just a girl with an amazing memory, that will remember the most embarrassing moments of your life if you do try to make me fail. Just kidding (maybe)…

Some of you may be unsubscribing (Not subscribed? Check out that cool subscription bar on your right and click here for my super cool sister's amazing blog that you MUST read *shameless plug*) as fast as you can because you’re either scared of what I will remember about you or you think I’m crazy. Both of these could most likely be true. But hey if you can’t remember what you wore to your 2nd grade birthday, your grandma’s middle name or your husband’s brother’s wife’s parent’s anniversary – I’m your girl! 

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